2010–2023 Writings
by Michelle Margaret Fajkus

Heart-to-Heart Communication

Written in


“If we want to do good, it has to be in our words to the people we live with, and the people that we meet on the street, and the people that we interact with at the stores, and the people we work with.

If you want to stop nuclear war, pay attention to your speech, pay attention to how and when your words are connected to your heart, and when words aren’t connected to your heart, and what’s going on when they’re not.

Without judging it, just study it, begin to look at it.” ~ Jack Kornfield

broken record

How and when are my words connected to my heart?

When they come from a place of understanding, a remembrance of oneness, rather than from a feeling (falsely) superior or inferior.

When they well up with truth, clarity and necessity.

How much of our time is spent speaking in broken-record small talk and superfluous phrases?  Words decidedly disconnected from our hearts. Mindlessly coming from habit.

“That’s so funny.”

“Did you hear…?!”

“How about this weather, huh?”

“You know…”

The most common question in the English language must be, “How are you?” And nine times out of 10, we ask it and completely glaze over at the answer. That why we’ve all trained ourselves to say, “Fine, thanks, and you?” “I’m well, thanks for asking.”

How am I?

Well, I am feeling a little tired and anxious and also super grateful and content this morning. I’m hungry and lazy with the mildest of headaches and I’d really like to crawl back into bed and snuggle with my hubby and daughter but I kind of need to get to work.

I’m never just “fine,” no one is… yet we say so even to our partners and parents and close friends —unless we are really there, speaking from the heart, present in the moment.

It’s complicated yet simple. We can be feeling all this and knowing that it’s okay and natural to feel whatever arises.

This is our challenge, if we choose to accept it: observe when and how our speech (spoken conversation, written words and body language) is connected to and flowing from the source of the heart…. and when it is not.

Slowly, slowly, with the magical power of awareness and attention, our words and ways of expression become more genuine, more meaningful, more loving and more real.

This is life’s work. It’s not going to happen in a week, probably. We have years and generations of practice speaking from the mind, from the ego. It will take effort to recreate new patterns. It will take time, patience, persistence and love.

So… how are you?

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